My posts are usually light hearted, tongue in cheek, and in
a “laugh at my own jokes” way, humorous… Whilst I whine about my
so-called-life, really I love it and wouldn’t change it for the world… My babies may be rascals, but they’re my
rascals and without their boundary pushing, patience testing antics, my life
would be peaceful but rather dull.
Today my post is different, one of a sadder content. With a
heavy heart, it’s taken me a week to write, often as my fingertips have brushed
the keys on my laptop, my eyes have stung with unwelcome tears that have threatened
to fall. Tears that I feel I don’t deserve to cry.
Last weekend, St Georges Day, my eldest niece lost one of
her very dearest friends. She’s 19. So was he.
I can’t help by feel I didn’t know George well enough to
warrant my tears. But my tears are for him, forever 19 years old. For his
parents losing a child with so much life left to live. For his brother losing a
sibling and best friend. For his long term girlfriend, dealing with something
she never thought she’d have to. For his friends who have lost a brother. And
for my Chloe… My heart aches for the pain she is going through, this out of
body feeling that is so foreign to her.
Self-confessed, she’s in denial; a bubble. Until he is laid to rest it
won’t really seem real. Her heart is breaking and in turn it’s heart breaking
to have to stand back and watch without being able to take any of the pain
away.
My niece has lived a fortunate life, where in the 19 years
she’s been on this earth she’s never loved and lost.
This boy that she had grown up with, schooled with, walked
to and from school with, had grown up to be a fine young man. He was a credit
to his parents. Which I told his mum just this morning.
Despite going their separate ways after leaving school,
Chloe still saw George regularly, last year when I was pregnant, Chloe
(unplanned) took Olly to one of their catch ups. Not many teenage boys would be
so accommodating to have a 3 year old tear away gate crash their plans. But he
was, he welcomed my loveable rogue, took him to his favourite pub with a soft
play, gave him the time of day and treated him to his dinner. Olly came home
utterly impressed with a new favourite friend!
Regardless of how a life is lost, no parent should ever
have to see their child go before them. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.
That’s not how the circle of life is supposed to work.
This past week I have seen nothing but love and appreciation
for this young man. And at time when they should, old friends, even former
teachers have reunited to reminisce about growing up and the good times. His
family have been very brave at a time when you can’t imagine what they must be
going through… Life can be cruel. So, so
cruel.
I have been reminded that life is short; Tomorrow is never
promised. Do things that scare you, tell those important that you love them and
live each day as if it was your last…
May you rest in peace
St George of Derby xoxo
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