As an adult there are many times I've questioned if leaving the house with a bag on my head would be acceptable. I was blessed or cursed (at 32 it's still undecided) with rather large hair, to accompany my rather large arse and rather large boobs! (second two came after children)
Unfortunately for my boy, he seems to have inherited the massive hair gene. His dad also has a bit of a white 'fro when it grows too long. The poor kid never stood a chance!
As a baby, up until he was 2 and a half, Olly had the most gorgeous golden ringlets. Often he was mistaken for a girl due to his lustres locks. It wasn't until I surprised the hubs with a trip to Dubai for his 30th that we cut his hair in to a "proper" boys "short back and sides". Before this he looked like a GAP advert kid or surfer dude. The hubs told me it was cruel taking him to such a hot climate with hair that add to the increase in his own body temperature. So off came the curls and along came the floods of tears from one totally emosh momma.
After he had his curls cut off, his hair became increasingly difficult to control. He can go to bed with a tamed, flat mop and wake up like he's been wrestling with crocodiles. Every day is a battle to flatten it down with a water sprayer and comb. Then, if time, a blast from the hair dryer followed by some styling wax.
Each morning we do it before school, sometimes it point blank, does not want to conform. On these days I am grateful for cold mornings and woolly hats that help with the flattening process!
There are the occasional days where we don't have time to really style his hair and sods law one of those days would happen to be (unknown to me) the day of school photos. It was quite mild on said morning, so a hat in the car was a big NO from the bear. He sat in his booster seat looking out the window, rubbing his head side to side on the head rest.
By the time we arrived at school, he stepped out of the car and his hair was WILD at the back, like a nest and we had nothing to tame it. As we walked up to the school gates I am trying to flatten it at the back. We arrive at the picket fence and as he crosses the gate (where parents are forbidden) I hear one of the other parents say to their child "make sure you smile nicely"
I have a deep sinking, sicky feeling in my tummy. Nooooooo. Not school photos please!
Yep, school photos. Missed that memo didn't I? I look at his hair and try to get him to come back to me but he's more interested in the class room and getting up to no good! Don't worry says his TA, I'll make sure he looks ok!
I remember my mum telling me a story about my oldest sister going to school with bunches for her first school photo and she took them out just before the pictures were taken cause she wanted her hair down. Mum said the pictures were awful!
I've pretty much resided to the fact his first school photo will not be one from the mantle piece, more so his journey through life box of memories. I'm fairly confident we'll be presented with a picture of our little scrummy bum looking like he's been electrocuted!
Thursday, 22 October 2015
Wednesday, 21 October 2015
Turning over a new (not brown) leaf
4 weeks in, one "can I have a word" situations and a week off school sick. It was time for the bear to return.
"I promise momma, I will be a good, good boy, I will try my hardest to be on the green leaf and bring floppy home!" Credit where credits due, this 4 year old can talk the talk. He had me eating out of his hand on the journey to school, totally sold his new found good behaviour to me!
I dropped him at the reception gate, gave him a kiss and walked off secretly crossing my fingers for a good end of day report. I had convinced myself maybe the prior mishaps had been down to tiredness and coming down with the sickness bug.
Flash forward 6 and a half hours, I was back at the Reception picket fence waiting to collect him. The hubs had got progressively worse and was in a taxi on his way to the club doctor as the headache that he had had for the past 3 days had reached maximum unbearable-ness.
Out come the children being dismissed to parents and then I see the old pattern forming, Lightening is avoiding eye contact. Shit, it's Deja freaking Vu. It always happens when I need to be somewhere. Finally it appears all the class bar 2 or 3 have been dismissed.
"we've had a terrible day, utterly silly choices" at this point I despair. Words fail me. There's only so many times you can say sorry. In my head I'm considering apologising in a different language so I don't sound so repetitive. I can say sorry in Spanish and then draw a blank, my bilingual skills leave a little to be desired. I know it's serious today as the head on my boy is hanging low.
Now Olly is a risk taker, but not that clever at thinking up the ideas. If some presents him with an opportunity regardless of the risk involved, he'll take it. He will totally risk it for a biscuit.
Todays mishap... Whilst doing Harvest Festival vegetable prints outside, him and 2 accomplices decide to paint their hands and decorate the wooden tower and slide in their Reception outdoor area. I felt like I had steam coming out my nose, ears, mouth, everywhere. Olly has NEVER drawn, scribbled, painted anywhere he shouldn't at home or pre-school. We've been really lucky. But here, on this day he has. I'm the first to admit he is no angel but I also know this was no brain child of his. He was merely a sheep that had been caught in the act. So of course, Brown Leaf for the bear, he bypassed the 3 warnings.
Then during afternoon carpet time he got in an "altercation" with another student and found himself in the head of KS1 classroom.
The boy had his tail firmly between his legs. As we walked back to the car I get the call to say the hubs is been taken to hospital... When it rains it really bloody well pours.
My mum came over to sort the children so I could get to the hospital and put them in bed. Olly didn't really understand what was going on. Steve is often away with work on over night stays so this wasn't unusual for Olly but my mum had told him daddy was poorly and had gone to get better.
Tuesday I took Olly to school and Nancy to her first proper day at the child minders, she was only doing half a day.
My mum and dad collected Olly from school and when I got back to theirs from the hospital I was greeted with a big smile and the news that he had only bloody well made the GREEN LEAF!!! So out comes to crazy mum dance (imagine my arms rowing a boat and my legs riding a bike at the same time) the infamous "sprinkler" move came out and general celebration stupidity!!
I dropped him at school on the Wednesday morning and again prayed for a good day, dropped Nancy at the child minders and proceeded to the hospital.
My parents collected both children today so I could stay at the hospital to speak with the specialist.
When I arrived at their house Olly had a visitor with him. FLOPPY DOG!!! We had finally made Star of the Day! This was a HUGE deal! Out came the cringe worthy moves again but the boy was made up! And Steve started to feel better!
Not sure if in Olly's little head he thinks his good behaviour helped his daddy get better but we have turned a new leaf, Floppy has been to our house twice in the space of a week! Olly has been promoted from Milk helper to Cloak Room Tidier! Along with a little girl in his class called Heidi. She even encouraged him to try carrots at lunch (which he hates) because they make you "see in the dark" however he did say he still doesn't like them and if he needs to see in the dark, he'll get a torch!!!
It's our first parents evening tomorrow night, it will be interesting to hear more about our character!
Kids! Just another day... But long may it continue!
"I promise momma, I will be a good, good boy, I will try my hardest to be on the green leaf and bring floppy home!" Credit where credits due, this 4 year old can talk the talk. He had me eating out of his hand on the journey to school, totally sold his new found good behaviour to me!
I dropped him at the reception gate, gave him a kiss and walked off secretly crossing my fingers for a good end of day report. I had convinced myself maybe the prior mishaps had been down to tiredness and coming down with the sickness bug.
Flash forward 6 and a half hours, I was back at the Reception picket fence waiting to collect him. The hubs had got progressively worse and was in a taxi on his way to the club doctor as the headache that he had had for the past 3 days had reached maximum unbearable-ness.
Out come the children being dismissed to parents and then I see the old pattern forming, Lightening is avoiding eye contact. Shit, it's Deja freaking Vu. It always happens when I need to be somewhere. Finally it appears all the class bar 2 or 3 have been dismissed.
"we've had a terrible day, utterly silly choices" at this point I despair. Words fail me. There's only so many times you can say sorry. In my head I'm considering apologising in a different language so I don't sound so repetitive. I can say sorry in Spanish and then draw a blank, my bilingual skills leave a little to be desired. I know it's serious today as the head on my boy is hanging low.
Now Olly is a risk taker, but not that clever at thinking up the ideas. If some presents him with an opportunity regardless of the risk involved, he'll take it. He will totally risk it for a biscuit.
Todays mishap... Whilst doing Harvest Festival vegetable prints outside, him and 2 accomplices decide to paint their hands and decorate the wooden tower and slide in their Reception outdoor area. I felt like I had steam coming out my nose, ears, mouth, everywhere. Olly has NEVER drawn, scribbled, painted anywhere he shouldn't at home or pre-school. We've been really lucky. But here, on this day he has. I'm the first to admit he is no angel but I also know this was no brain child of his. He was merely a sheep that had been caught in the act. So of course, Brown Leaf for the bear, he bypassed the 3 warnings.
Then during afternoon carpet time he got in an "altercation" with another student and found himself in the head of KS1 classroom.
The boy had his tail firmly between his legs. As we walked back to the car I get the call to say the hubs is been taken to hospital... When it rains it really bloody well pours.
My mum came over to sort the children so I could get to the hospital and put them in bed. Olly didn't really understand what was going on. Steve is often away with work on over night stays so this wasn't unusual for Olly but my mum had told him daddy was poorly and had gone to get better.
Tuesday I took Olly to school and Nancy to her first proper day at the child minders, she was only doing half a day.
My mum and dad collected Olly from school and when I got back to theirs from the hospital I was greeted with a big smile and the news that he had only bloody well made the GREEN LEAF!!! So out comes to crazy mum dance (imagine my arms rowing a boat and my legs riding a bike at the same time) the infamous "sprinkler" move came out and general celebration stupidity!!
I dropped him at school on the Wednesday morning and again prayed for a good day, dropped Nancy at the child minders and proceeded to the hospital.
My parents collected both children today so I could stay at the hospital to speak with the specialist.
When I arrived at their house Olly had a visitor with him. FLOPPY DOG!!! We had finally made Star of the Day! This was a HUGE deal! Out came the cringe worthy moves again but the boy was made up! And Steve started to feel better!
Not sure if in Olly's little head he thinks his good behaviour helped his daddy get better but we have turned a new leaf, Floppy has been to our house twice in the space of a week! Olly has been promoted from Milk helper to Cloak Room Tidier! Along with a little girl in his class called Heidi. She even encouraged him to try carrots at lunch (which he hates) because they make you "see in the dark" however he did say he still doesn't like them and if he needs to see in the dark, he'll get a torch!!!
It's our first parents evening tomorrow night, it will be interesting to hear more about our character!
Kids! Just another day... But long may it continue!
Quarantine Quarters; The Sick House
It's taken us 4 years but we finally had Olly christened, it hasn't helped that his godfather lives in Dubai, so getting him over hasn't been the easiest task. However, in the end it worked in our favour and we were able to get our munchkins christened together. Perfect.
And that's what it was; a perfect day. The weather was beautiful, those important to us were there, the children behaved and the Reverend introduced me to my new favourite hymn; a chant with bongo drums!
We were fortunate enough to have friends and family travel from near and far to spend the day with us. As mentioned, Olly's godfather and his fiancé Sam flew in from Dubai for the weekend. It was an express visit and we tried to spend as much time with them as possible. After the christening reception, they came back to our house to gauge on left over cake and chill out before they headed back to the land of sand the next day.
As the evening crept in, the bear didn't quite seem himself, he was burning up, very sleepy and very clingy. He didn't even want to open his cards and presents. It wasn't long after our guests had left that he vomited all over our bed. Like a tap that wouldn't switch off it just kept coming. I hate sick, detest it. In my younger years I'd have rather have been ill for days than be physically sick. Now here I find myself running towards it hands cupped trying to catch it.
Rules of school say 48 hours off from the last bout of sickness. I bet Lightening was thanking her lucky stars following the end of last week. So Monday and Tuesday he spent the majority of time sleeping. On the Wednesday I packed him up ready to go back to school, he seemed to have improved Tuesday afternoon and evening. But by lunch time I had received a call to collect him. We visited the GP Thursday morning and he had Friday off too. He had a viral infection and was generally exhausted, he just needed rest and lots of TLC.
Wednesday saw Nancy tag team Olly and join the sick club. She showered me in projectile vomit, literally everywhere. I stood dripping with sick in the kitchen as the hubs just stood there and watched. I had to get changed on the spot and when I went to the bathroom I had a big sploge in my hair, looked very similar to that scene in the film "There's something about Mary" it was horrible. Luckily by Friday Nancy was pretty much back to normal.
The hubs came home ill on Thursday too. He's still training for his marathon which is on 25th October. His immune system is pretty low with all the training he is doing and he's not really giving himself enough time to recover. As he works in professional sport he was told to keep away until he was better as they couldn't afford for the players to catch what he had as he works so closely.
Now he doesn't like me talking about him on here, I don't know why, I'm not even sure that many people read it! But in short over the weekend he got progressively worse and by Monday was hospitalised. Very scary. Lots of wires, lots of tests, lots of terms being thrown around, CT scans, Lumber Punctures, Blood tests, Morphine, Anti Sickness drips.
After a number of days in hospital I was glad to bring him home! He's now back to marathon training and has the big day this Sunday! He is aiming for under 3 hours and is raising money for Autism Awareness in Derby. I am super proud of him! He never fails to amaze me with his can do mentally.... Good Luck Mr H!xxx
And that's what it was; a perfect day. The weather was beautiful, those important to us were there, the children behaved and the Reverend introduced me to my new favourite hymn; a chant with bongo drums!
We were fortunate enough to have friends and family travel from near and far to spend the day with us. As mentioned, Olly's godfather and his fiancé Sam flew in from Dubai for the weekend. It was an express visit and we tried to spend as much time with them as possible. After the christening reception, they came back to our house to gauge on left over cake and chill out before they headed back to the land of sand the next day.
As the evening crept in, the bear didn't quite seem himself, he was burning up, very sleepy and very clingy. He didn't even want to open his cards and presents. It wasn't long after our guests had left that he vomited all over our bed. Like a tap that wouldn't switch off it just kept coming. I hate sick, detest it. In my younger years I'd have rather have been ill for days than be physically sick. Now here I find myself running towards it hands cupped trying to catch it.
Rules of school say 48 hours off from the last bout of sickness. I bet Lightening was thanking her lucky stars following the end of last week. So Monday and Tuesday he spent the majority of time sleeping. On the Wednesday I packed him up ready to go back to school, he seemed to have improved Tuesday afternoon and evening. But by lunch time I had received a call to collect him. We visited the GP Thursday morning and he had Friday off too. He had a viral infection and was generally exhausted, he just needed rest and lots of TLC.
Wednesday saw Nancy tag team Olly and join the sick club. She showered me in projectile vomit, literally everywhere. I stood dripping with sick in the kitchen as the hubs just stood there and watched. I had to get changed on the spot and when I went to the bathroom I had a big sploge in my hair, looked very similar to that scene in the film "There's something about Mary" it was horrible. Luckily by Friday Nancy was pretty much back to normal.
The hubs came home ill on Thursday too. He's still training for his marathon which is on 25th October. His immune system is pretty low with all the training he is doing and he's not really giving himself enough time to recover. As he works in professional sport he was told to keep away until he was better as they couldn't afford for the players to catch what he had as he works so closely.
Now he doesn't like me talking about him on here, I don't know why, I'm not even sure that many people read it! But in short over the weekend he got progressively worse and by Monday was hospitalised. Very scary. Lots of wires, lots of tests, lots of terms being thrown around, CT scans, Lumber Punctures, Blood tests, Morphine, Anti Sickness drips.
After a number of days in hospital I was glad to bring him home! He's now back to marathon training and has the big day this Sunday! He is aiming for under 3 hours and is raising money for Autism Awareness in Derby. I am super proud of him! He never fails to amaze me with his can do mentally.... Good Luck Mr H!xxx
Can I have a word please...
What a roller coaster these past 7 weeks have been! My little man all grown up and at full time school... I was praying his mischievous character wouldn't get him on the wrong side of his teacher early doors, but who was I kidding. The saying isn't famous without reason. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
Second week in, it's Thursday and I go to pick my monster up from school, as all the children are being dismissed from the Reception gate, I try to catch Lightening McQueen's eye to let her know "I'm here" but she looks beyond me. So I shuffle around a bit, Cooey, I'm here, even do that awkward, can you see me wave which I'm returned with an index finger (signalling 1 minute) in the air. Christ. And then follow those 6 words that you don't really want to hear...
"Can I have a word please?"
On the Wednesday night Olly had been in and out of his room all night and was a nightmare getting ready for school in the morning. We were both exhausted but I hoped when he got to school he would perk up and be alright. Maybe he'd be one of those kids that fell asleep on the carpet during afternoon story time because it's all got "a bit too much"
My bear is the last one in the class to be let out. He has been on a boundary pushing bender. I could feel my face and ears burning. I'm relieved that no other parents are there to hear but also want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I know he can be a little sod for us but you hope when your children are in other surroundings, with other people, that they'll behave. Oh no, not Olly. Olly will see just how far he can get.
I'm told he has spent the majority of the day on the brown leaf. Let me explain the behaviour hierarchy...
The Tree - all children in the class start the day here.
The Green Leaf - for children who make "good choices" or do something that deserves praise
The Sunflower - For the king-ding-a-lings of the class. The pinnacle.
THE BROWN LEAF - for children who have received 3 warnings and STILL make BAD CHOICES
Floppy dog - A teddy bear that is called Floppy from the Biff and Chip books, he and his diary go home with a child from the class who is star of the day
There was one little lad in his class that had been put on "the brown leaf" one day and took it upon himself at break time to pop back in to the class and put himself back on the tree. I pissed myself at this, fair play! He obviously felt he'd done his time. I heard this didn't go down too well. I was secretly pleased this wasn't Olly though, but in hindsight maybe that would've have welcomed a bit more than being kept behind.
Now I was no angel and school, but no demon for that matter too. I was rent-a-gob, far too much to say. I remember being sent to the head teachers office in year 5 during sports day after calling someone in my class a twat. He was and it was deserved. I should perhaps mention that this word was part of my families every day lingo and was thrown around loosely. So to make it to 10 years old without getting in trouble for using the word was both a miracle and achievement in itself.
Anyhow. I digress. I am informed that Lightening McQueen has used all her usual methods to encourage better choices with no success so the threat of speaking to "mum" at the end of the day was extreme measures. As she's stood telling me all about it, Olly looks quite frankly, like he couldn't give a shit. In the car he advises me that school isn't really his thing. He'd like to be 3 again and go back to pre-school to play with Emily.
Due to his actions and us being kept back, we were now running late for swimming lessons. Most parents will probably understand the struggle of keeping to a tight deadline with after school activities. Thursday is swimming day, we finish school at 3:30pm get back to the car for 3:40-45pm, drive across the city to venue for swimming, arrive at 4:10pm, get changed and do a quick toilet stop, on poolside for 4:25pm ready for a 4:30pm start. We were at least 10 minutes behind schedule. I was blowing steam out my arse. Olly was very blasé about it all.
We have a chat in the car and decide when we get home from swimming we will make sorry cards for Lightening and his TA. And we do.
Friday on the way to school he tells me how he's going to try his hardest to get on the green leaf and when we arrive at school hands his sorry cards to his teacher and TA. They are a little shocked to receive them but thank him and we all raise and imaginary glass to the fact it's a new day, fresh start and TFI Friday!
3:30pm I go to collect the boy. I'm feeling secretly confident we will have had a better day. She opens the class door, then gate. Lightening looks as though she needs to go for a swim in a pool of wine.
THE LITTLE SOD WAS WORSE....
I apologise and scarper, stern words to be had in the car... It may be his christening weekend but treats will be rationed and he will understand bad behaviour is not rewarded. Changes will be made and Monday will be different. And it was. Olly picked up a sickness bug and wasn't allowed to go to school...
Which now takes me on to the worst week of 2015....
Second week in, it's Thursday and I go to pick my monster up from school, as all the children are being dismissed from the Reception gate, I try to catch Lightening McQueen's eye to let her know "I'm here" but she looks beyond me. So I shuffle around a bit, Cooey, I'm here, even do that awkward, can you see me wave which I'm returned with an index finger (signalling 1 minute) in the air. Christ. And then follow those 6 words that you don't really want to hear...
"Can I have a word please?"
On the Wednesday night Olly had been in and out of his room all night and was a nightmare getting ready for school in the morning. We were both exhausted but I hoped when he got to school he would perk up and be alright. Maybe he'd be one of those kids that fell asleep on the carpet during afternoon story time because it's all got "a bit too much"
My bear is the last one in the class to be let out. He has been on a boundary pushing bender. I could feel my face and ears burning. I'm relieved that no other parents are there to hear but also want the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I know he can be a little sod for us but you hope when your children are in other surroundings, with other people, that they'll behave. Oh no, not Olly. Olly will see just how far he can get.
I'm told he has spent the majority of the day on the brown leaf. Let me explain the behaviour hierarchy...
The Tree - all children in the class start the day here.
The Green Leaf - for children who make "good choices" or do something that deserves praise
The Sunflower - For the king-ding-a-lings of the class. The pinnacle.
THE BROWN LEAF - for children who have received 3 warnings and STILL make BAD CHOICES
Floppy dog - A teddy bear that is called Floppy from the Biff and Chip books, he and his diary go home with a child from the class who is star of the day
There was one little lad in his class that had been put on "the brown leaf" one day and took it upon himself at break time to pop back in to the class and put himself back on the tree. I pissed myself at this, fair play! He obviously felt he'd done his time. I heard this didn't go down too well. I was secretly pleased this wasn't Olly though, but in hindsight maybe that would've have welcomed a bit more than being kept behind.
Now I was no angel and school, but no demon for that matter too. I was rent-a-gob, far too much to say. I remember being sent to the head teachers office in year 5 during sports day after calling someone in my class a twat. He was and it was deserved. I should perhaps mention that this word was part of my families every day lingo and was thrown around loosely. So to make it to 10 years old without getting in trouble for using the word was both a miracle and achievement in itself.
Anyhow. I digress. I am informed that Lightening McQueen has used all her usual methods to encourage better choices with no success so the threat of speaking to "mum" at the end of the day was extreme measures. As she's stood telling me all about it, Olly looks quite frankly, like he couldn't give a shit. In the car he advises me that school isn't really his thing. He'd like to be 3 again and go back to pre-school to play with Emily.
Due to his actions and us being kept back, we were now running late for swimming lessons. Most parents will probably understand the struggle of keeping to a tight deadline with after school activities. Thursday is swimming day, we finish school at 3:30pm get back to the car for 3:40-45pm, drive across the city to venue for swimming, arrive at 4:10pm, get changed and do a quick toilet stop, on poolside for 4:25pm ready for a 4:30pm start. We were at least 10 minutes behind schedule. I was blowing steam out my arse. Olly was very blasé about it all.
We have a chat in the car and decide when we get home from swimming we will make sorry cards for Lightening and his TA. And we do.
Friday on the way to school he tells me how he's going to try his hardest to get on the green leaf and when we arrive at school hands his sorry cards to his teacher and TA. They are a little shocked to receive them but thank him and we all raise and imaginary glass to the fact it's a new day, fresh start and TFI Friday!
3:30pm I go to collect the boy. I'm feeling secretly confident we will have had a better day. She opens the class door, then gate. Lightening looks as though she needs to go for a swim in a pool of wine.
THE LITTLE SOD WAS WORSE....
I apologise and scarper, stern words to be had in the car... It may be his christening weekend but treats will be rationed and he will understand bad behaviour is not rewarded. Changes will be made and Monday will be different. And it was. Olly picked up a sickness bug and wasn't allowed to go to school...
Which now takes me on to the worst week of 2015....
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